If Chicken Little Lived in Tucson He would work for the Arizona Daily Star

I’m sure this is the longest title I’ve ever put on a post here. But it can’t compare to the long, long, long leaps of logic the Arizona Daily Star took in front page articles published yesterday in the Star.

Water and Wild Hogs

Decision on water could hit here hard

Only lack of water keeps wild pigs from being state menace

IF IF IF IF IF

If is the biggest two letter word in existence. (At might be close but if takes the cake)   Because with the word “if” we can go where no logical person would go and like the pied piper get people to follow along.   We suspend belief if someone just takes us down the if road slowly.

Other words in the suspension of logic tool box include Only, Could, Might, Possibly, etc.   Take for example our two titles above.   “could hit hard”   and “only lack of water”.   Neither is likely, but it is possible.

If Tucson and Arizona continue to get increased amounts of rain and if the surface water should increase here we could be faced with wild pigs as an overwhelming menace and threat to the environment.   Since wild hogs exist in all 50 states we could be witnessing the beginning of the end of life as we know it on the planet earth.   Wild Hogs COULD Ruin the world.

Tomorrow let’s look at the first article on Water, since this is a major issue in Tucson.   I’m not sure we need to discuss the wild pigs issue since they would only be a menace of we have a huge increase in surface water.   With this type of logic it is a wonder states like Minnesota and South Dakota aren’t just being flooded, they should have an abundance of Bacon as well.

Take this as a good sign?

If I were to apply similar logic to the Arizona Daily Star I would say the economy must be improving at a faster than expected rate.   Since the ADS published two “The Sky is Falling” articles.   If the paper wants to sell papers it has to bet on failure.   I would think the Arizona Legislature would have provided enough content to keep the paper going through 2012 at least.   But no, it treats us to articles on Water and Wild Hogs.